The Vision Quest (Part 3)

Okay, so where was I up to? Ah yes, I’ve planned and prepped and now I was ready to begin. My last meal before fasting was at 3pm on Friday. I made it a biggun! Very high fat and I enjoyed it thoroughly. That evening I went to a Kundalini Yoga workshop where we focused on our “Soul Purpose”. I thought this was the perfect way to start my vision fast as one of the reasons to carry out a vision fast/quest is to find your purpose in life.

The next day when I woke up my first thought was “I’ll just make breakfast”. Er, no I won’t. “I’ll just make lunch”. Nope not that either. It made me realise how much of my life revolves around food. I wasn’t even that hungry, it just seemed to be a go-to habit and a conditioning to eat at certain times.

I was all packed and ready to go but had another yoga workshop to attend before setting off. Getting ready to leave after the workshop I did just think “What the f*ck am I doing?” “Just go home, stay warm, eat some yummy food”. But I’ve got this far, I’m gonna do it. By the time I got to my spot I was happy I didn’t back out. It felt right being there.

I did the whole ritual thing on arrival. The Quest book gives all the details on how to do this. First I set up my medicine wheel (a protective circle made around my sacred spot). I collected stones (asking their permission to be moved and made into my medicine wheel) placing them in east, south, west and north corners. I then added a few more stones as well as twigs, feathers, berries, leaves and even a mushroom. I “washed” myself in sage and cleansed the circle. I only entered and exited from the east as that is the beginning of the wheel relating to the direction of sunrise. On entering the circle, I took time to centre myself, breathing in each direction and using visualisation to draw in energy.

I then set up my hammock and tarp and settled in for the night. I had felt slightly nervous before going, it’s funny the stories your mind can make up in your head. I just had to not listen to them and know that I was completely safe. It wasn’t the best nights sleep but I didn’t actually feel that tired to be honest. The moon was so bright too (it was the night before full moon) and was like someone had a light on in the trees. Which was amazing (I’m definitely a “look at the moon” kinda person)!

To be continued…..

Tobeawarrior x

The Journey Begins

I’ve been asked twice this week if I write a blog. I guess that means that some people are vaguely interested in my life and it’s stories, and perhaps that I should in fact, start writing a blog. So here it is.

On deciding that I would write a blog, I suddenly felt like I had so much to say and many words wanted to spew out but in no particular sense. What to write? How to say it? At which point in the story do I start?

The answer is simple. Start here and now. That is all there ever is. Words which resonate in my mind from the book “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman. One of my favourite books and also where “tobeawarrior” stems from. It’s a spiritual tale of Dan on the path to becoming a peaceful warrior. The journey to presence and unreasonable happiness. It is understanding that all fear, anger, guilt, sorrow, envy, cravings and plans exists only in the past or future.

You see, right now I am on an awfully cliche “spiritual” journey. I want to be a [peaceful] warrior and live wholly here and now. But it isn’t as simple as that. I am human. This means that I have been conditioned into the person I am today through the people I’ve met and the world I live in. Not all ideas and beliefs are my own. I need to “find myself” and strip away everything I have learnt so that all my truths are able to shine through and I can exist as “I am”.

The blog might just be another tool to help me on my journey of [new] self discovery (and old self destruction). And maybe also a piece of inspiration to help others on theirs (we are all students and teachers). Whatever it is or will be, I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I am.

Tobeawarrior x