The Vision Quest (Part 3)

Okay, so where was I up to? Ah yes, I’ve planned and prepped and now I was ready to begin. My last meal before fasting was at 3pm on Friday. I made it a biggun! Very high fat and I enjoyed it thoroughly. That evening I went to a Kundalini Yoga workshop where we focused on our “Soul Purpose”. I thought this was the perfect way to start my vision fast as one of the reasons to carry out a vision fast/quest is to find your purpose in life.

The next day when I woke up my first thought was “I’ll just make breakfast”. Er, no I won’t. “I’ll just make lunch”. Nope not that either. It made me realise how much of my life revolves around food. I wasn’t even that hungry, it just seemed to be a go-to habit and a conditioning to eat at certain times.

I was all packed and ready to go but had another yoga workshop to attend before setting off. Getting ready to leave after the workshop I did just think “What the f*ck am I doing?” “Just go home, stay warm, eat some yummy food”. But I’ve got this far, I’m gonna do it. By the time I got to my spot I was happy I didn’t back out. It felt right being there.

I did the whole ritual thing on arrival. The Quest book gives all the details on how to do this. First I set up my medicine wheel (a protective circle made around my sacred spot). I collected stones (asking their permission to be moved and made into my medicine wheel) placing them in east, south, west and north corners. I then added a few more stones as well as twigs, feathers, berries, leaves and even a mushroom. I “washed” myself in sage and cleansed the circle. I only entered and exited from the east as that is the beginning of the wheel relating to the direction of sunrise. On entering the circle, I took time to centre myself, breathing in each direction and using visualisation to draw in energy.

I then set up my hammock and tarp and settled in for the night. I had felt slightly nervous before going, it’s funny the stories your mind can make up in your head. I just had to not listen to them and know that I was completely safe. It wasn’t the best nights sleep but I didn’t actually feel that tired to be honest. The moon was so bright too (it was the night before full moon) and was like someone had a light on in the trees. Which was amazing (I’m definitely a “look at the moon” kinda person)!

To be continued…..

Tobeawarrior x

I don’t have a television

When I mention to people that I don’t have a television the response I often get is “no me neither, I just use my laptop and watch Netflix”. Okay, well I use my computer to do work stuff and study and now a tool for writing my blog. I think I’ve watched about 4 films online this year. I’ve not watched a single episode of Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Walking Dead or whatever popular TV series there are.

I went out with a guy a number of years ago who didn’t have a TV and it was cool. We actually had to talk to each other and come up with other ways to be social and interact. He did have a projector and so it was an occasion when we put it up and decided on a film to watch together. Then one day he bought this ridiculously huge television and every evening became this monotonous routine. It sucked but was also so easy to get sucked in (maybe that was the beginning of the end of our relationship. That and he was a jerk).

After we split and I lived on my own, I didn’t even notice I didn’t have TV. People would ask me how I managed to do so much. I think the answer is easy, don’t have a TV! But it’s crazy because sometimes I think I don’t do enough (on reflection I know this is not true). Admittedly I probably spend too much time on Instagram and researching crap on the internet (I definitely know too much about compost toilets; don’t ask!). But I’m completely scared of not living life. There is so much to do and see in the world. I want an experiential existence.

We can be whoever we want to be and learn to do ANYTHING we want to do.  Today I saw a video of a girl doing a scorpion handstand, on a moving skateboard, shoot a target using bow and arrow with her feet! WTAF? I mean, if I wanted to learn that, I COULD! What you think you can create. It’s about using the universal energy to manifest what we want. My sister always says I’m the luckiest person she knows but I’ve just been tapping into the magic that is available to us all. I’m still learning of course but I know others who are exceptionally good at this.

So I went from television to manifestation, random. I don’t really have a set idea for these blogs just letting the words come out. You can read for hours on the internet about manifestation but the other week I was “testing” the universe; I asked for ladybirds. A couple of days later my front porch was filled with them. Then they were gone and haven’t been there since.

In my journey to “find my self” I’m hoping to increase my powers too. Our external world tells us too often that you “can’t do this, you can’t do that or you aren’t good enough”. I know this is not true of course but I really have to learn to BELIEVE what I know. My conditioning has planted a few negative seeds and I’ve got to weed them out. Even now there are people that put negativity on what I’m doing in life (sorry dad, but at this point in life I have a 100% survival rate and you should know that it is all going to work out better than expected).

Anyway, it’s the weekend which means I got more stuff to go out and learn and experience, no sitting on the couch watching TV for me.

Tobeawarrior x

Note: The photo was taken from my van watching the rain on the windows, or what I called my “television”

You can follow my journey in pictures:

https://www.instagram.com/tobeawarrior/

https://www.instagram.com/eagleandthewarrior/

 

 

 

The Journey Begins

I’ve been asked twice this week if I write a blog. I guess that means that some people are vaguely interested in my life and it’s stories, and perhaps that I should in fact, start writing a blog. So here it is.

On deciding that I would write a blog, I suddenly felt like I had so much to say and many words wanted to spew out but in no particular sense. What to write? How to say it? At which point in the story do I start?

The answer is simple. Start here and now. That is all there ever is. Words which resonate in my mind from the book “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman. One of my favourite books and also where “tobeawarrior” stems from. It’s a spiritual tale of Dan on the path to becoming a peaceful warrior. The journey to presence and unreasonable happiness. It is understanding that all fear, anger, guilt, sorrow, envy, cravings and plans exists only in the past or future.

You see, right now I am on an awfully cliche “spiritual” journey. I want to be a [peaceful] warrior and live wholly here and now. But it isn’t as simple as that. I am human. This means that I have been conditioned into the person I am today through the people I’ve met and the world I live in. Not all ideas and beliefs are my own. I need to “find myself” and strip away everything I have learnt so that all my truths are able to shine through and I can exist as “I am”.

The blog might just be another tool to help me on my journey of [new] self discovery (and old self destruction). And maybe also a piece of inspiration to help others on theirs (we are all students and teachers). Whatever it is or will be, I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I am.

Tobeawarrior x